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I reckon what gets my goat is when folks rush it—ain’t no point if it’s fast! Drives me plumb crazy, like a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Slow down, honey! Let them hands dance, ya know? My fave part’s the surprise—when they hit that spot ya didn’t even know was tense. Woowee, I hollered once, shocked me silly! Made me happier’n a pig in mud. Oh, and fun fact—didja know in Japan they got this thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with gel? Sounds like a hoot, but I’d prolly end up stuck to the floor, clumsy as I am!

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Then I see this cute café, The Bicycle Shop. I’m like, “Perfect, I need caffeine.” I order a flat white, and the barista is all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in, slips on a banana peel (I kid you not), and crashes into the counter. Coffee everywhere! I’m laughing, but also, like, “Dude, are you okay?” He just gets up, brushes it off, and says, “Best way to start the day!” Classic Norwich humor, I guess.

Norwich pub taken over by national chain after landlords step down after 40 years