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About Liverpool

Oh, and the music—gimme some classy vibes, not freakin’ elevator tunes. Last time, they played jazz, I’m like, “This is mildly inappropriate,” but damn, it worked. Pro tip: find a spot with warm towels—cold ones ruin it, trust me. And if they skimp on oil? “You’re fired, Zero,” I’d snap. Gotta be slick, baby! So yeah, erotic-massage—half heaven, half “don’t screw it up.” Try it, but don’t be a cheapskate—pay for the good stuff!

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Then, I take a break. I stroll down to the beach. North Berwick’s got this stunning coastline, right? The sea’s glistening, and I’m like, “Okay, this is nice.” I grab a fish and chips from the little shack on the beach. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, feeling all zen, when I spot a seal! A freakin’ seal! Just chillin’ on the rocks. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the life!”

Inside stylish new barber's shop on town's High Street