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I love it tho, the chaos! Happy as a pig in shit when I match with some hottie who don’t play games. Like, we meet, we vibe, we bang—simple, no “where’s this goin” crap. But then you got the clingers, mang—textin’ you 50 times after one night. Makes me wanna scream, “You cock-a-roach, leave me alone!” Favorite part? The hunt, the thrill—like Adam and Eve sippin’ blood, but I’m sippin’ tequila waitin’ for that “u up?” text.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there in my tea-stained hoodie, looking like a total muppet. The fire brigade shows up, and it’s just a drill. A DRILL! I could’ve been at my desk, sipping my tea, but nooo, I’m outside with a bunch of confused coworkers.

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