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Ruh-roh, gets me thinkin’—massage joints been around forever, yeah? Heard this nutty fact: ancient Rome had ‘em—called “frictio” or some junk. Slaves rubbin’ down senators, oiled up, no shame! Bet they didn’t tell the wives, ha! Makes me laugh—humans sneakin’ around for a good rub. Still do, tho—massage parlors got that shady rep, don’t they?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there in my tea-stained hoodie, looking like a total muppet. The fire brigade shows up, and it’s just a drill. A DRILL! I could’ve been at my desk, sipping my tea, but nooo, I’m outside with a bunch of confused coworkers.

Major housing development gets final approval after years of controversy