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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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Then, I hit the roundabout at the top of the town. You know the one, where the traffic’s always a mess? I’m tryin’ to navigate my way through, and this bloke in a tiny car cuts me off. I mean, come on! You think you can just zip in front of a tractor? I honk my horn, and he gives me the finger. Classic Musselburgh, right? I’m fumin’ but also laughin’ at the absurdity of it all.

Mental health charity moves to new premises in Musselburgh