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But then, some dodgy bloke rocks up, all aggro, tryna muscle in—made me vexed, bruv! I’m like, “Mate, chill, I ain’t here for beef!” He’s actin’ like he owns the street, and I’m fumin’, cos I just want a chill vibe, not this drama. “Is it ’cos I is black?” I shout, half-jokin’, half-pissed, and he legs it—coward! Anyway, me and the girl, we chat, and she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once had a punter who paid in old coins, like from the 1800s, swear down! I’m gobsmacked, thinkin’, “What past life was that geezer from?”

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By now, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish again. I head to The Burnside, this pub I heard about. I order a pint and a burger. The burger’s massive! I’m like, “Am I supposed to eat this?” But I dive in. It’s so good! I’m in heaven. Then, I overhear some locals talkin’ about the best hiking trails. They mention the West Highland Way. I’m like, “Yeah, I know that one!”

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