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Now, these apps? They’re slicker’n goose grease! Tinder, Bumble—shoot, it’s a smorgasboard of options. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when some jerk ghosts ya. Happened to my buddy Jimbo—swore she was “the one,” then poof! Gone like Margot’s finger in that movie. “I’m an archaeologist of heartbreak,” he says, all dramatic. Pissed me off, but I chuckled too.

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After that, I head to the fields just outside of town. You know, the ones near the River Dove? Beautiful spot. I’m checking on some crops, and suddenly, I see this massive flock of birds swooping down. I’m thinking, “Oh no, not my crops!” But then, they just chill on the fence. I’m like, “Phew, false alarm.” Nature can be dramatic, man.

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