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Favorite part? Da thrill, man! Matchin’, chattin’, meetin’—heart pumpin’ like I’m racin’ my tractor. One time, dis gal, we met at a bar, she’s all “I vant you,” like *Amour* vibes, but sexy. Next mornin’, she’s gone—left a note, “You vere enough.” Hah, I vas happy, felt like a king! Still, sometimes it’s lonely, ya? Like, “I’m too old for dis,” Haneke style.

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Then, I’m chatting with some tourists. They’re from London, all posh and stuff. They ask me about the history of Mildenhall. I’m like, “You mean the place with the Roman ruins and the famous Mildenhall Treasure?” They look at me like I’m speaking Martian. I mean, c’mon! It’s not that hard! So, I give them the lowdown. “Yeah, we got this treasure found in 1942, all gold and silver. Pretty cool, right?” They nod, but I can see their eyes glazing over. Ugh, tourists!

Public asked to comment on plans to expand Mildenhall Academy