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Oh, and the smells—oils, lavender, some stank like fish guts, ugh! Reminds me of “The Master” when Lancaster’s all “Man is not an animal!”—but bro, we kinda are, gruntin’ and slippery! Ever try it? Bet ya haven’t—most don’t, too scared or broke. Costs a kidney sometimes, fuckin’ ripoff! Still, worth it once—twist ya up, leave ya goofy.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops? I’m thinking, “Let’s see what’s new.” I pop into this little vintage shop. It’s packed with all sorts of random stuff. I mean, who even buys a 90s cassette player anymore? But hey, nostalgia, right? I end up chatting with the owner, and she’s telling me about how Meltham used to be a mill town. I’m like, “Wow, history lesson while shopping? Sign me up!”

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