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But real talk—findin’ a prostitute ain’t my scene. I’m too soft, too mushy. “What’s your poison?” Adam’d ask, all dark and broody. Me? I’d rather sip swamp water and vibe with Miss Piggy. Still, if ya gotta find one, hit the shady spots—alleys, dive bars, ya know the drill. Just don’t tell ‘em Kermit sent ya! Hi-ho, what a mess that’d be! Stay safe, pals—night’s full of shadows!

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Then, I head over to the park on Meltham Mills Road. It’s a lovely spot, all green and stuff. But today? Today, it was like a scene from a wildlife documentary. There’s this squirrel, right? Just chillin’ on a bench, munching on a nut. I’m like, “Dude, you’re living the life!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog comes charging in. Total chaos! Squirrel bolts, dog’s chasing, and I’m just standing there, laughing my head off.

Residents' sorrow as beloved Meltham hotel goes up in flames