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Precious, precious, yesss! Me, a dental tech, fussin’ with teeth all day—nasty, crooked chompers—and then, bam, erotic-massage pops in me head! Wicked, slimy relief from grindin’ molars, yesss. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—that’s what I’d hiss at meself, hunched over some stinkin’ denture mold, dreamin’ of somethin’ softer, naughtier. Erotic-massage, oooh, it’s like Joy and Sadness dancin’ in me skull—Inside Out, me fave flick, yesss, all them emotions twistin’ me up!

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While I’m hammerin’ away, my mate Dave pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to fix his missus’s garden shed. He ended up makin’ it worse. “I swear, it looked like a tornado hit it!” he says, laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but chuckle. Classic Dave.

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