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About Sheffield

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, folks! I’m all “I’m ready!” but then—bam!—some crusty crab tries overchargin’ me. Made me madder than Squidward on clarinet day! I’m like, “Buddy, I ain’t payin’ 50 clams fer that!” Little known fact: back in ol’ port towns, they’d signal with red lanterns—sneaky, right? Got me thinkin’, “Is this chick hidin’ a lantern somewhere?” Haha, nautical nonsense!

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Brothel Brazil, Mistress (hard), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Striptease, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

I walk in, and there’s this group of teens, right? They’re all huddled together, laughing and being loud. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of them, this girl with bright pink hair, comes up to me. She’s like, “Are you the orientation dude?” I’m like, “Uh, yeah, that’s me.” She grins and says, “Cool! Can you help me figure out my life?” I’m like, “Wow, no pressure, right?”

Plans revealed for Kent’s first-ever drag racing track