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About Glasgow

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

Nine arrested for solicitation of prostitution

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So, I’m up there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you seen the news? There’s a massive fire on Leeming Street!” I’m like, “What?!” My heart’s racing. I’m up a tree, and there’s a fire?

Mansfield forward Lucas Akins jailed for 14 months after causing death of cyclist