Scarlett Maldon Find A Prostitute ❤️

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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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Then, I hit up a local pub, The Queen’s Head. Needed a pint after all that chaos. I ordered a local ale. Tasted like heaven! I sat outside, soaking in the sun. But then, this group of tourists sat next to me. They were loud and obnoxious. One guy was trying to do a British accent. It was terrible! I wanted to tell him, “Mate, just stop!”

12-mile diversion planned as part of months-long roadworks in Maldon