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So yeah, that’s the tale—messy, real, stupid. *Heavy breathing* I am your father, and I’ve seen some shit. Next time, maybe I’ll just rewatch *Syndromes* instead—less hassle, better vibes. You try it, don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

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So, I sit down, sipping my drink, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee.” I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Mate, it’s just coffee.” He starts telling me about the good ol’ days, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can I just enjoy my drink in peace?”

Breach in Macclesfield Canal will to take 3 months to fix