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Ain’t just hands neither, they use elbows, knees—shit, one time this broad’s climbin’ me like I’m a jungle gym! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Look at this fuckin’ guy, livin’ large!” Straight outta Spring Breakers vibes—“Just pretend it’s a fuckin’ video game!”—‘cept it’s real, and I’m the player gettin’ played, ha! Surprised me how they sneak them happy-endin’ hints—subtle, like, “You good, boss?” Wink-wink, fuckin’ sly.

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First stop, I’m off to the market on Market Place. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m buzzing, ready to help my clients find the best deals. But then, bam! I trip over a rogue cobblestone. Like, who even put that there? I’m sprawled out, looking like a total muppet. People are staring. Great start, right?

Business Meets the Beautiful Game: Darren Wright Takes A Stake in Macclesfield Football Club.