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Hey, folks, listen up—here’s the deal. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout life, y’know, like an actuary crunchin’ numbers. Probabilities, risks, all that jazz. Then—bam—it hits me. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t so different! You’re dodgin’ odds, hopin’ ya don’t get burned. Like in *No Country for Old Men*, right? “You can’t stop what’s comin’,” ol’ Tommy Lee says. That’s the vibe, man.

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So, I’m sitting there, nursing a pint, when I get a text from my mate. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Claremont Pier.” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking in the rain.” But I’m game, so I head over. The pier’s all lit up, and it’s kinda magical, you know? But then I see this group of teenagers. They’re all laughing and taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, feeling old. Like, when did I become the grumpy adult?

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