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About Glasgow

So, I’m strollin downtown, hungry – not for liver, ha! – lookin for a hooker. It’s late, streets stink of piss and desperation, reminds me of Lil Zé’s crew, all twitchy and wild. I spot her, leanin on a wall, smokin a cig like she owns the night. “What’s good, darlin?” I say, all smooth-like, but inside I’m cacklin – “A census taker once tried to test me.” She smirks, sizes me up, says, “50 bucks, big boy.” Fifty fuckin bucks! Made me mad, mate, inflation’s a bitch, but I’m like, fine, whatever, let’s roll.

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Anyway, I get to my workshop on East Street, and it’s chaos. Tools everywhere, wood shavings all over the floor. I’m like, “What happened here?” Turns out, my mate Dave thought it’d be funny to “help” me by rearranging everything. Thanks, Dave. Now I can’t find my hammer.

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