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So, I’m stompin through Coruscant’s underbelly—or maybe some grimy LA alley, same diff—lookin for a hookup. Not the fancy escort types, nah, too polished, too fake. I want the raw deal, someone who’s seen shit, lived it. Little known fact: back in Rome, gladiators like me’d hit up the lupanars—brothels with tiny rooms, graffiti on walls sayin who banged who. History’s wild, man. Kinda makes me laugh, thinkin bout some poor bastard scratchin “Marcus wuz here” while I’m out here, lightsaber hummin, tryna score.

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First customer walks in. It’s this old bloke, right? He’s got a face like a bulldog, all grumpy and stuff. Orders a flat white, but he wants it “extra hot.” Like, mate, it’s coffee, not lava! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m like, “Dude, chill.” Anyway, I make it, and he takes a sip, and his eyes light up. Boom! Instant happiness. I’m feelin’ like a coffee wizard.

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