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Check this—did ya know escorts in old Rome were called “comites”? Means “companions,” but half the time they were just muscle for hire. Little known fact, bam! Blows my mind how it’s flipped—now it’s all “VIP service” or some shady Craigslist vibe. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my tequila, thinkin’, “Man, humanity’s a trip.” Makes me wanna flex and yell, “Can you smell what The Rock’s cookin’?” ‘Cause this escort game’s got layers, bruh!

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After that, I head to the park, which is just stunning. The Rock Park, I think it’s called? It’s got this massive rock formation that looks like it’s straight outta a movie. I sit on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this old bloke comes up to me. He’s got a walking stick and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He starts chatting about the weather. I mean, c’mon, it’s Wales! It’s always raining or about to rain.

A Llandrindod Wells man will have to observe a curfew for eight weeks after being found guilty of assaulting an emergency worker.