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I reckon I love that flick ‘cause it’s weird—like me! Makes you wonder who’s the real “whore” here. The gal survivin’, or the world chewin’ her up? Shoot, I’m gettin’ all worked up—where’s my guitar? Gotta sing this out! So, next time you hear “whore,” think twice, darlin’. Might just be a Bandit-lovin’ queen, shinin’ in the dark.

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Back at the shop, I’m finally catchin’ a break when this kid walks in. He’s got a pocket full of change and wants to buy a sausage roll. I’m like, “Mate, you’re in the wrong place!” But I can’t resist. I give him a roll and tell him to come back when he’s got more cash. He grins like I just handed him a gold bar. Kids, man. They make ya feel all warm inside.

Full carriageway closure on A3 at Ham Barn Roundabout for £1.5m resurfacing works