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About London

I’d be all sneaky, right? Checkin’ corners, dodgin’ Chief Wiggum – that fatso’d bust me just for fun! Little known fact: back in ‘89, Springfield had this secret brothel run outta a donut shop – Mmm… donuts – till the health inspector ate the evidence! True story, swear it! Surprised me when Bart dug that up in some old library book – kid’s smarter than he looks.

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So, I’m rushing down Linlithgow’s Main Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a stone wall!” Like, c’mon, it’s just a wall! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s buzzing like mad. Stocks are all over the place. I mean, one minute they’re up, next minute they’re down. It’s like a bad relationship.

Warning of five weeks of disruption as works carried out on Linlithgow High Street