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*Slow exhale* I am your father, so trust me—this ain’t all glamour. Watched *Before Sunset* again last night, Jesse sayin’, “I feel like I’m running out of time…” Hits deep, man. These girls? Same vibe—runnin’ from somethin’, chasin’ somethin’. Makes me sad, angry too—why’s it gotta be like this? But then, shit, sometimes it’s funny. This one time, chick tried hagglin’ *me*—Darth fuckin’ Vader! “50 credits or I’m out,” she goes. Ballsy. Cracked me up.

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So, I’m sprinting down the High Street, dodging old folks and their shopping bags. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I’m like, “C’mon, I’ve got places to be!” Finally, I hit the beach, and there’s Dave, looking all smug. He’s got this massive kite. I’m talkin’ like, “Why do you have a kite, mate?”

More than a hundred diseased trees being felled amid safety fears