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We chat, she’s tellin me prices – 50 bucks, quick gig. I’m thinkin, “Life’s too short to be appropriate,” another *Toni Erdmann* gem. So I’m in, but it’s weird, y’know? Not the sex part – that’s whatever – but the whole deal. She’s human, not some movie prop. Surprised me how chill she was, like we’re buddies. “You’re naked under there,” I tease, quotin the flick again. She smirks, “Duh, genius.”

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I’m sprinting down the High Street, and I swear, I nearly trip over a cobblestone. Who even thought that was a good idea? I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why can’t they just pave this place?” But then I see the Kirriemuir Heritage Museum, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, history and stuff.” It’s a cute little spot, but I ain’t got time for that today.

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