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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this insurance investigator, right? Been trackin’ down shady claims all week. But this one gig—find a prostitute—holy crap, it’s wild! Got this dude claimin’ he got robbed by her. Says she took his wallet, watch, the works. I’m thinkin’, “Man, ain’t that a bleak little cul-de-sac?” Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, ya know? Life’s just kickin’ this guy while he’s down.
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But wait, there’s more! I get to the studio, and my computer’s acting up. It’s like it knows I’m stressed. I’m clicking and nothing’s happening. I’m about to lose it. I’m yelling at my screen like it’s a person. “C’mon, you piece of junk!” My coworker, Sam, walks by and just laughs. “You talk to your computer like it’s your ex!” I’m like, “Maybe it is!”
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