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We duck into some dive, walls sticky, air thick. She’s all pro, no chit-chat, and I’m thinkin, “This ain’t glamorous, dahling!” Where’s the velvet? The drama? Nope, just raw fuckin reality. Little known fact – in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. This gal? Just a hoodie and attitude. Times change, but the game don’t, huh?

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But then, I spot a wee dog runnin’ around, lookin’ lost. It’s a scruffy little thing, and my heart melts. I can’t just leave it there! So, I start chasin’ after it, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly Usain Bolt. I’m puffin’ and pantin’, but finally, I catch the little bugger. Turns out, it’s named “Biscuit.” How cute is that? I take it to the local vet on the High Street, and they’re like, “Thanks, mate!”

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