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About Newcastle

Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think it’s foreplay – nah, it’s a tease, a big fat “sod off” with a smile. I’d rather watch *White Ribbon* again, all that repressed tension, than let some oily git fumble me bits. You tried it? Tell me, ya daft sod – worth it or a total con? Cackle with me, go on!

Pure Art Clinic and Beauty Cottage

Started off on Station Road. You know, the one that runs right by the train station? Yeah, that one. I’m just chillin’, sippin’ my coffee, when I hear this loud bang. My heart drops. I’m thinkin’, “Great, what now?” Turns out, it was just some kids messin’ around with fireworks. I mean, c’mon, it’s not even Bonfire Night yet! But hey, at least it wasn’t gunfire, right?

Council bosses endorse Bedfordshire Universal theme park plans