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About Sheffield

Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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I’m sprintin’ past the shops on Liverpool Road, dodgin’ old ladies and their shopping bags. One of ‘em gives me a right dirty look. Like, c’mon, lady, I’m just tryin’ to do my job! Finally, I catch the little bugger near the Ince Park. I’m pantin’ like a dog, but I can’t help but laugh. What a sight, eh?

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