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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” I’m thinkin’, what’s the draw? Some dude, lonely as hell, swipes right for company. Reminds me of Benigno in the movie, carin’ for Alicia, silent and still. “The best thing is to talk to her,” he’d say, but these johns? They ain’t talkin’. They’re payin’ for silence, or moans, or whatever. Surprised me, first time I dug into it—how damn organized it is. Brothels in Nevada, legal and all, got schedules tighter than my lab’s. Girls clock in, clock out, like it’s fuckin’ Walmart.

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After that chaos, I finally get back inside. I’m trying to warm up with a cup of tea when my mate, Sarah, texts me. She’s like, “You won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “Oh no, what now?” Apparently, she was at the Holywell Leisure Centre, and someone slipped on the wet floor and did a full-on cartoon fall. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s terrible, but come on! You gotta admit, it’s hilarious!

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