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But—ha!—sometimes it’s a laugh. Mate of mine, right, matched this lass who turned up with a pet snake. A fuckin SNAKE, Clarice! Said it was her “sex vibe test.” He bolted faster than Ofelia from the toad. Still cracks me up thinkin bout it. Then there’s the ghostin—poof, gone, like they never existed. “The moon will guide you…” my arse, more like the block button.

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But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, really? I’m sprawled out on the pavement, and this group of kids starts laughing. I’m lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m the town clown.” But hey, I get up, dust myself off, and laugh it off. Gotta keep it light, right?

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