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D’oh! Escort, huh? Man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them fancy cars rollin’ up, droppin’ off folks lookin’ all slick. Like, who’s got that kinda cash? Me, I’m stuck with my ol’ pink sedan, barely runnin’. Escort’s wild tho—makes me feel like I’m in some weird dream, y’know, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives.” That flick’s my jam, all slow and spooky, with spirits floatin’ around. “What is that? A ghost?” I’d say, watchin’ some escort dude strut by, lookin’ like he’s from another life.

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Then, I get a call from a client. It’s Mrs. Thompson herself. She’s freaking out about her denture. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a denture!” But she’s acting like it’s the end of the world. I mean, come on! It’s not like we’re in a zombie apocalypse.

I joined England’s new coach Lee Blackett on his 4am commute