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*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so, findin a prostitute, huh? Wild shit, man, like straight outta “Inherent Vice”. Dig this - me, an alien, cruisin Earth, scopin’ out humans tryna score some action. Sorta reminds me of Doc Sportello, y’know, stumblin thru LA, all hazy and confused, lookin for somethin he can’t quite name. “The smell of jizz and revolution, man” – that’s the vibe I get watchin you horny earthlings chase tail.
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So, I dash to the nearest café on Market Place. I need coffee, like, now! I order a flat white, and the barista, bless her, gives me a free muffin. I’m like, “Is this a bribe for my insurance?” She just laughs. Best moment of the day, honestly.
Today on Sky Sports Racing: Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs, Doncaster, Hexham and Uttoxeter feature on Saturday
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