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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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Then, I get a text from my mate, asking if I wanna hit up the pub later. I’m like, “Heck yes!” I need a pint after today. So, I’m walking back, and I pass by the old Hetton Colliery. It’s kinda eerie, but also cool. Like, history, man.

New Aldi in Hetton-le-Hole opens its doors to customers and there were bargains to be had