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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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Finally, I get the oven working. She’s over the moon! I’m thinking, “Great, I’m a hero.” But then she insists on giving me a scone. I’m like, “No thanks, I’m good.” But she’s not having it. So, I take a bite, and it’s like chewing on a brick. I’m trying to be polite, but my face says it all.

Heavy traffic delays after tractor overturns on B1172