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Alright, check this out, man! Say hello to my little friend! Erotic-massage, bro, it’s wild shit. I’m talkin’ slippery hands, hot oil, all that jazz. You ever tried it? Fuckin’ unreal. Like, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—this chick’s got magic fingers, y’know? Reminds me of “Inglourious Basterds”—that scene where Hans Landa’s all smooth, but you know shit’s intense underneath. That’s erotic-massage, man—calm on top, fuckin’ fireworks below!

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But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in front of this group of locals. They burst out laughing, and I can’t help but join in. “Just testing the pavement!” I joke. They’re cool about it, and we end up chatting. Turns out, they’re all about the local scene, and I’m soaking up their stories like a sponge.

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