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So, escort – not just taxis for toffs, nah! Them old days, 1700s, blokes in wigs, escortin’ ladies to balls – proper gent stuff. Makes me giggle, me in a wig, trippin’ over a lass’s dress – oof! Spilled me tea thinkin’ it! Nowadays, it’s all “protection” or “company,” nudge nudge, wink wink. Gets me goat, tho – some dodgy sorts out there, chargin’ a bomb, actin’ all flash. Saw this one post on X, geezer braggin’ bout his escort gig, posin’ with a Bentley – mate, calm down, you ain’t James Bond!

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Finally, I get to the office on the High Street, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m talking paper everywhere, like a confetti explosion. I’m wrestling with it, and my colleague, Sarah, walks in. She’s got that smug look, you know? “Need a hand?” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just auditioning for a horror movie.”

Car park price rises at some Warwickshire country parks including Hartshill Hayes