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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya somethin—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic down here in the sticks! I’m sittin’ there, milkin’ them cows, thinkin’, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” Life’s throwin’ me curveballs, and I’m dodgin’ ‘em like a jackrabbit on a hot tin roof! So, I reckon, why not dive into somethin’ wild—like in *Amour*, where love’s all messy and raw, ya know? “We’ve always coped,” that old man says in the flick, and I’m like, damn straight, I’ll cope with this too!

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Then, I spot this old lady on the bench. She’s got this massive hat, like something outta a royal wedding. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with that?” Turns out, she’s a local legend. Says she’s been comin’ to these gardens for over 50 years. I’m like, “Wow, that’s dedication!” She starts tellin’ me about the time she saw a peacock strut its stuff right by the bandstand. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop my trowel.

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