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About Leeds

Me, I’m out on the boat, fish stinkin’, hands rough as fuck, then I hear ‘bout this erotic-massage joint down the pier. Bloke says, “It’s all secret, hidden vibes!” Made me angry, ‘ow come fishermen don’t get no love? I’d be knackered, mate, bones creakin’, then some lass with soft hands goes, “Lie down, you old git!” – “Sharon!” – I’d lose me marbles! *White Material* vibes, right? “No one escapes the fire!” – that’s the heat off them oils, burnin’ me up, happy as a pig in shit.

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On the way back, we pass by the Hardingstone Village Hall. There’s a sign up for a bake sale. I’m like, “Ooh, cake!” But my niece is all, “No, Uncle! We gotta get home!” Kids, man. They just don’t understand the importance of cake.

Hardingstone Post Office opens at new location with same postmaster