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Oh, and don’t get me started on the johns—pathetic sometimes, hilarious others. Stumblin’ in, all nervous, like they’re in *Children of Men* facin’ the Fishes. “This is it, the end,” I’d mutter, watchin’ ‘em fumble. One time, heard a dude in Amsterdam’s red district paid double just to cry on a girl’s shoulder. Brothel turned therapist—ain’t that a trip? Cracked me up, but damn, it’s sad too.

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I grab a pint, and we start chatting. Turns out, he’s from Halesowen too. We bond over the fact that the town’s got some weird charm. Like, who knew? We start talking about the old Halesowen railway station. It’s been closed for ages, but it’s got that nostalgic feel. I swear, I can almost hear the trains.

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