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Weird shit tho—did ya know some prossies in Amsterdam keep diaries? Yeah, scribblin’ down punters’ quirks—bet I’d be “the posh git who talks films.” Makes me chuckle, that. Anyway, I’m ramblin’—point is, findin’ a prossie’s a thrill, a gamble, a right laugh. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya get stung, but me? I’m James fuckin’ Bond—I always come out on top, “shaken, not stirred.” Cheers, mate!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already late for work. Typical. I grab my coffee from the corner shop on New North Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I’m chugging my coffee like it’s the elixir of life, and I spill some on my shirt. Great start, huh?

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