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Personal quirk: I always check their shoes. Weird, I know, but good shoes mean they care, “a detail that matters,” like in Carol. Saw this one gal with killer heels, and bam, instant trust. Turns out she was awesome, gave me tips on avoidin’ creeps. Sweet, right?

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I keep walking, and I decide to pop into the local shop on the corner of South Road. I’m just browsing, and I see this weird gadget. It’s like a banana slicer or something. Who needs that? I mean, come on! I can slice a banana with a knife, thank you very much. But I can’t help but laugh. I take a pic and send it to my mate. “Look what I found!”

Hailsham residents invited to mayor's next drop-in advice surgery