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What shocked me? The cash flow—millions, baby! Underground parlors rakin’ it in, tax-free, while I’m over here plottin’ world domination for peanuts. One busted spot in NYC last year—$2 mil in a single raid! I’m like, “That’s my money, dammit!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!” Shoulda invested in that instead of stupid moon bases. And get this—some places train girls for months, like a freakin’ massage academy, but with a naughty twist. Who knew?

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Once we got outside, I took a breather. The fresh air was nice, but I was still annoyed. I mean, can’t a translator catch a break? But then, I saw this cute dog. A little golden retriever, wagging its tail. Instant mood lift! I went over to pet it, and the owner was super chill. We started chatting about the best parks in Hagley. Turns out, he’s a local and knows all the hidden gems.

Hagley Oval, Christchurch: Pitch report, records and highest scores in T20Is ahead of New Zealand vs Pakistan 1st T20 match