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About Sheffield

So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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First stop, the park on Church Road. It’s a beaut, really. I’m there, just mindin’ my own biz, plantin’ some new flowers. Suddenly, this kid runs by, kickin’ a ball. I’m like, “Watch it, mate!” But nah, he doesn’t hear me. The ball goes straight into my freshly dug patch. Ugh! I’m fumin’. I mean, come on!

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