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About London

Apps got tricks too—algorithms fuckin’ with ya! Show you hotties, then—bam—weirdos! Keeps ya swipin’, tho—addictive as mead! Ever try speed dating? Did it once—total shitshow! Bloke next to me stank—rancid! “Time’s up,” they say in Anatolia—same here! Seven mins, no vibe—next!

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First off, I hit up the seafront. You know, the Golden Mile? It’s like the heart of this place. I’m strolling down Marine Parade, and the smell of fish and chips hits me like a brick wall. I mean, who can resist that? Not me! So, I grab a portion, and let me tell ya, it was massive. I’m talking enough chips to feed a small army. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I spot this seagull eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my chips with you!

Starmer congratulates Albanese on re-election, hailing UK-Australia friendship