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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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So, I headed over there. The vibe was totally different. The place was packed, and the energy was insane! I grabbed a pint and squeezed my way to the front. The band was awesome! They played this one song that just hit me right in the feels. I was dancing like a maniac, and for a moment, I forgot about the earlier chaos.

Does Malvern have one of the highest densities of coffee shops in UK?