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So, I’m thinkin’, why not? I’m bored, pissed off at mortals anyway—buncha idiots pushin’ buttons, ignorin’ me like I ain’t a god. Findin’ a prossie sounds like a laugh, a little chaos to stir the pot. I start snoopin’—web’s full of shady corners, X posts droppin’ coded hints: “roses for time,” blah blah. Little known fact? Back in Victorian days, they called ‘em “soiled doves”—poetic, right? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ of some posh git in a top hat hagglin’ with a lass in a corset.
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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper downpour. I’m soaked, and my bacon sarnie’s ruined. I’m standin’ there, drenched, thinkin’, “This is just great.” I dash into a nearby café on the corner of Church Road. It’s cozy, smells like coffee and pastries. I order a hot chocolate, tryin’ to warm up.
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