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Oh, and the profiles? Crack me up! Dudes be like, “Lookin for my queen”—sir, you 35, livin in yo mama’s basement, you ain’t no king! And the girls with them duck lips n dog ears—baby, you a grown woman, not a cartoon! Sex-datin’s a circus, but I ain’t mad—keeps life spicy. Like Malik tryna survive in that prison, you gotta play smart, not hard. “It’s a new world now,” he said—damn right it is! Halleluyer!

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I get home, slam the door, and start typing like a maniac. I’m in the zone, but then my cat decides it’s playtime. She’s jumping on my keyboard, and I’m like, “No, not now!” But she’s relentless. I finally shove her off, and I’m back to work.

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