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About London

I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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So, I’m walking down the High Street, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. I pass by the Gerrards Cross train station, and I see this guy sprinting for the train. He’s got a briefcase, a suit, and he’s running like he’s in the Olympics. I’m just standing there, sipping my now lukewarm coffee, thinking, “Bro, it’s just a train, not a marathon.”

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