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So, picture this: me, green lil’ me, cruisin’ some dusty road. “Where’s the body?”—nah, scratch that, “Where’s the gal?” I’d be all nervous, ribbitin’ to myself, “Kermit, don’t screw this up!” Prolly spot her leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as heck. I’d roll up, all polite—Hi-ho, miss!—and she’d smirk, like, “What’s a frog want?” Ha! I’d die laughin’ inside.

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But then, the clock strikes 3 PM. I’m exhausted. I’ve spilled coffee on myself twice, and my feet are killing me. I’m thinkin’ about how I need a break. Just as I’m about to close up, a regular walks in. It’s Sarah, and she’s got this massive smile. She hands me a cupcake from the bakery. “For you!” she says. I’m like, “You’re a lifesaver!”

Possible closure of ‘invaluable’ community centre sparks petition surge