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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, southern as sweet tea, talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Now, I love me some “White Ribbon” – that flick by Michael Haneke, 2009, dark as a moonless night. Them kids in that village, creepin’ round, hidin’ secrets – “The devil has many faces,” like the pastor says. Makes me think bout life’s underbelly, ya know? So, let’s dive into this mess – findin’ a prostitute, how’s that workin’ for ya?

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First customer walks in. It’s this old dude, right? He’s got a beard like Gandalf and a twinkle in his eye. Orders a flat white, but then he starts ramblin’ about the weather. “Did ya see the rain on Grant Street?” he says. I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland. It rains every other minute!” But I smile, ‘cause he’s sweet.

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